I created my film dead end to show how loss can change the way a viewer understands the world. At first, the viewers see a car wash; it focuses on the deserted essence of the place. Once the viewer sees time is remaining, they begin to see the car wash through a new lens. A beautiful lens. I intended for the viewer to leave wishing they could appreciate past sights in such a way.



Throughout my life, I have been forced to view memory through the eyes of my loved ones. As a kindergarten student I saw my great-grandma, grandma Gigi lose herself when she had a stroke only days before we had to say goodbye. I recently struggled to watch my grandma Marga struggle with Alzheimer’s for years before she passed. I began to understand what it felt like to be forgotten. In my research, I dove into how memories work, and how our brain decides what it needs to remember for survival and what is only filling needed space. 


I created a series of three paintings to represent beings fading away. I chose to paint my own siblings who have made me who I am today. Who I never want to forget me or I to forget them. When researching Alzheimer’s I learned that a patient’s memory is slowly lost. I chose to paint the simple portraits in black and white to show one aspect of them is already gone. I chose to spray the paintings with frosted glass, to showcase them further being lost to the mind. This medium was very unpredictable and different for each portrait. Memory is still a mystery to us and forgetting is different for everyone. No portrait is the same.


The layer of the new material is cracking and pooling in different ways. In each portrait, specific aspects of the person are more clear than the rest. As one forgets small pieces can still be found deep in their brain. A specific characteristic that they are remembered for. The fog of the layer showing one may be faded, not fully themselves, but still remembered. Until eventually the fog takes over.


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